Healing
by HotMezoti
Summary: Exploration of Femshep and Vega's relationship in Vancouver.


"James, I think it will be okay." Shepard lay down on the couch in her prison quarters, head back. "It's just a sinus headache." She said as she winced, holding her hands over her forehead.

"I can call the doctor to get you something," James offered.

"No, I can't take most medicines because of my implants. It'll go away overnight."

In the past 3 months since she had been imprisoned in Vancouver, James had only had to call the doctor once before for a minor shoulder injury. He frowned, Shepard was no complainer, it must a real problem for them to cut their combat sims session short to come back to their quarters.

He sat down beside her, "Let me help you out. Just relax and close your eyes." He started gently massaging her forehead, pressing in and holding pressure spots between her eyes, on her cheeks. "Just try to relax," he said as he methodically worked on massaging her head.

"Oh my god, James, where did you learn how to do that?" Shepard said.

"An old girlfriend. She was a therapist. Knew all different types of massage. This one's for sinus pressure and pain. Good for migraines too."

Shepard smiled, "I bet you have a lot of old girlfriends. You have one now?"

James shook his head, "No, I'm too busy taking care of you. I've had a few girlfriends, but I wouldn't call it a lot."

She winced in pain as he found a particularly sensitive spot. He said, "Yea, that's the area, right there."

"Only a few girlfriends? I'm surprised. I'd think you'd have girls lining up to go out with you."

He laughed, "What makes you think so?"

"You're very nice, funny, strong, smart, talented. You're really good looking. You've got a good heart, and you're loyal."

"Wow, Lola. I didn't know you were such a fan."

She cleared her throat, she hadn't meant to say all that. "Well, I am. Plus you know how to do massage. That makes you a keeper."

"Well, what about you? Any boyfriends waiting for you?"

She snorted, "No. None. Well, I did have a guy I was with who was on my Normandy crew, but he turned on me after everything went down with Cerberus. I guess being dead for 2 years takes its toll on a relationship."

"That's fucked up. What happened?" James continued to massage her temples.

She took a deep breath, "Well, we were on a mission on the SR2 and we met up with him unexpectedly on Horizon. At first he seemed happy to see me, then he called me a traitor and told me because I was working with Cerberus he couldn't trust me. Then he turned his back on me and left. That was pretty much it."

"Wait a minute, are you telling me that you guys were in a relationship, then after he found out you were really alive he tells you off?"

"Yea, that's how it went down. I tried to reason with him and explain, but he couldn't get past it. Oh, I got an email from him apologizing a few weeks later, but it was half-hearted, still justifying his position." She thought back to how painful that was. "The rest of my crew never treated me like that, even Tali, who out of anyone had the most reason to distrust Cerberus, came back on the ship. Sure she told me her concerns, her reservations, but her loyalty to me and trust in me never wavered. But he wasn't like that. We were in a relationship, and he just told me off, shut me down."

"Damn. I would never treat you like that. I would take you in my arms and never let you go."

"That's because you're different, James. You wouldn't be blinded by your own prejudices so much that you betray someone you said you loved."

They were silent as James continued to massage around her cheeks, then said, "There, does that help at all?"

"Much, much better, thanks."

"Here, get up and I'll work on your neck, too. It's all connected."

Shepard sat up on the couch as James sat behind her and started massaging her neck. She pulled her long dark hair over her shoulder and held it out of his way. He thought about all she'd said as he worked on breaking up the knots in her neck and shoulder.

"So, you think you'll ever settle down once this is all over?"

She let out a small laugh, "You think I'll ever get the chance? I may spend the rest of my life in prison, unless the reapers kill us all first."

"You don't know that for sure. Anderson's lobbying hard for you. I can see you with a family, kids. You were a spacer kid right? It can work."

Shepard was silent. Finally she said, "I know it could work. I just – "

"You just need to find the right guy."

"No, that's not it. Well, I mean, yea, of course, but –" she sighed, "I'm not able to have children. That's an effect from being spaced and nearly dead for 2 years. It's irreversible."

James continued to massage her, regretting bringing the topic up. He had no idea she was infertile, and could only imagine how difficult it must be for a woman. He opened his mouth to say she was lucky to be alive, then stopped and thought better of it. "I'm sorry." He said simply.

"Yea, me too. But, it is what it is, right? I mean, I'm alive, I can't complain. Who knows what the future will bring me. I certainly couldn't have foreseen any of this." She motioned around their prison quarters.

James stopped massaging, "How's your neck?"

She turned around and smiled at him, "Great. And my headache is nearly gone. Anything else your ex-girlfriends taught you that would be helpful?"

He gave her a devilish smile and said, "Come to my quarters tonight and find out."

For the first time he saw her blush and she said, "James, maybe someday you'll make good on all this flirting." She stood up, "thanks for the massage, I feel so much better." She turned and walked to her room.

The thing was, James was entirely ready to make good on all his flirting. He just didn't know quite how to make any kind of move. She was his prison ward, and the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel imposed upon or pressured by him, so he put feelers out and saw if she would bite. So far none. However, that blush was something new. And all those compliments she paid him, those were unexpected. He got up from the floor and slowly walked to his room. At least he was able to enjoy some closeness with her, express his feelings in some way.

The next morning Shepard was completely over her headache and they took an early run on the track. They were allowed a limited time outside with James ever present as her prison guard. They started with a walk to warm up, talking some more about Kaidan.

"He never did come visit me here either." she said, looking down at the track.

"He hurt you pretty bad." James couldn't help but grit his teeth. This guy was a real prick. He didn't deserve her. "Sounds like you're still in love with him."

"Oh god, no. I'm still hurt by his words, 'You betrayed me. You betrayed the Alliance'. But I'm not pining over him. I realize now he wasn't the one for me, but at the very least he could have remained a friend, one of my crew." She shook her head. "I don't know why I'm even talking about it."

"To help you get past it, I suppose. That's how we deal with things, by talking it out."

Shepard looked up at him, "How can such a strong Marine hide such a sensitive soul?"

"I think you bring it out in me, Lola." He looked down at her and grinned.

"So what do you think you bring out in me, James?"

"Oh, I think competition." And he started to run.

She smiled and started sprinting to catch up to him. They rounded the corner of the track with Shepard gaining at him, laughing, when she felt her ankle give way and suddenly she was falling to the ground, struggling to catch her fall. "James!" she called out. The tone of her voice caught his attention, and he turned to see her fall to the ground. He ran back to kneel beside her.

"What happened?" He looked her over.

"Uh, my ankle, I don't know what happened. Could you help me up?"

James put his arm around her and reached for her hand with his other arm. He stood her up, supporting her weight on her right side. She gently put her foot down and caught her breath. "I think I'll be fine." She looked down and saw a rock on the track. Pointing to it she said, "That must have been it. I stepped on it and it turned by foot when I was coming around the corner. I'm okay now."

James let go of her and she tried to take a step, then again, then cried out in pain, "Dammit, I think I've really hurt it."

Suddenly she was up in James' arms as he scooped her up and carried her across the track. She held on to him, her hands entwined behind his neck, leaning her head against his shoulder. She wished she could stay like that, but soon he was gingerly placing her down on a bench. He sat in front of her and took her shoe off. He took hold of her foot and looked up at her. He started gently moving her foot up and down, until she again cried out in pain. He stood up. "We're going to have to take you to medbay. Does it hurt if I carry you?"

"James, I'm not going to have you carry me through the prison halls. Have the medics come out here and patch me up enough to make into medbay on my own and then the doctor can look at it."

James nodded and took off, back within minutes with two medics. They looked at her ankle, then placed an exoskeleton boot on it so she could walk to medbay. It was slow going, and she leaned on James the whole way. Soon she was sitting on an examination table with James at her side.

"Sorry Lola."

Shepard laughed, "James, it wasn't your fault at all."

"I know, I just – sorry."

She shook her head and looked up at the doctor who was bending her foot back and forth.

"So, what do you think doc? No big deal?"

The doctor looked back up at her, "It looks like a sprain, nothing broken. I'll be able to heal most of it here, then just stay off of it as much as possible for a few days."

She looked over at James, "See? I'll live. No problem."

He snorted, "The problem will be keeping you down for a few days. I know how you are."

Shepard looked down at the doctor using an instrument to start at the end of her foot. She could feel a slight heat. She leaned back on her elbows and looked up at James.

"I have no problem staying on the couch while you wait on me," she smiled. Suddenly she jumped.

"Sorry," said the doctor frowning, "was that painful?"

"No, just felt a little jolt." She looked up at James again and started to say something when she suddenly threw her head back and starting stiffening up.

"Lola? What's wrong?" James leaned over her to look at her face. Her eyes were rolling back and she started shaking violently. He turned back and yelled, "Stop, stop what you're doing!" The doctor looked at him in surprise and pulled away his equipment.

James looked back at Shepard who was now in a full seizure. He turned back to see the doctor looking at her in horror, frozen. James reached over and grabbed him by his jacket, "Get her some help goddammit, NOW!" he threw him towards the door, and the doctor ran out, calling on his omni-tool for help. James turned his attention back to Shepard who was still seizing.

"Lola, stay with me, stay with me!" he pleaded. He didn't know what to do, but tried to keep her still as he could and keep her from falling off the table.

Shepard could vaguely make out James' concerned face as she lost consciousness.

Three days later James was sitting in a hallway at the hospital drinking his fourth cup of coffee. He stood up and paced the hallway in front of Shepard's room. He had insisted on staying with her when she was transported there. "I'm her guard, Admiral Anderson requires I go where she goes." The staff didn't argue with the large Marine. It was Vega who had used his contacts to find Miranda Lawson, who sent the best implant specialist she knew to work on Shepard.

The door suddenly opened and James looked up to see the nurse, "She's asking for you."

He threw the half-empty cup on the floor and ran to the door. Shepard had been unconscious since she'd arrived. He looked down at her on the table, as he had for the last few days, and for the first time he saw movement.

"James, James." Shepard said weakly, reaching her arm up in the air.

"Shh, it's okay, you're going to be okay Shepard," the specialist tried to console her.

James grabbed her hand and held it tight. He got close to her and locked eyes with her. "James." She let out a sigh.

"Lola." James squeezed her hand, "I'm here. I never left."

She smiled and relaxed, closing her eyes again.

"Is she okay?" James asked the specialist.

"Yes, she is just exhausted, and still healing from the damage."

The first day it had been determined that the tool the doctor in the emergency room had used was never appropriate for use on someone with implants. As the doctor had gotten closer to her implant, the electrical impulses had triggered a full seizure. It had burnt out, and as they were able to stabilize her at the hospital, the specialist had been able to replace it that morning.

"The new implant is working properly. She should be fine to leave tomorrow."

"Really?" James looked back down at her.

"Yes, in a few hours she should be sitting up, having something to eat. We'll be able to remove the IVs. Of course, if you want her to stay here for a few days for observation, I can arrange that." She looked evenly at James.

Confused, James asked, "Well, do you think she needs to stay longer, I mean, whatever is best for her."

The specialist shook her head and hesitated, "Well, no, but I'm just saying, you know, if she isn't that anxious to go back to prison, I can arrange for her to be here for a few more days."

James knew being in a hospital room was more of a prison for her.

"Thanks, but I don't think that would be a good idea."

The specialist gave him an understanding nod, and turned back to check on Shepard's readings. James pushed her hair away from her face, stroking it lightly. He started to leave, but when he tried to pull his hand away, she held it tighter. He searched her face to see if she was awake, but she seemed to be peacefully sleeping. James grabbed a chair with his other hand and sat down at her bedside, as he had for the last few days as much as they let him. He held her hand and leant down placing a kiss on the back of it. Suddenly he realized where he was, and jerked his head up quickly. The specialist had her back to him, and the nurse was out of the room. James breathed a sigh of relief. He needed to make sure he was more careful.

James sat up with a start, looking around him blearily. He'd fallen asleep leaning on the side of her bed, her hand still in his.

"You look like shit."

James looked over and grinned, happy to hear her voice. For the first time he realized how he'd thought he might never hear her talk again, never have her back. It struck him how much she meant to him.

"Oh, Lola. You don't know how glad –" his voice caught in his throat and he looked down, clearing his throat. He felt her squeeze his hand. He glanced up at her and saw her look at him grinning, then softening her smile as she saw the tears in his eyes.

"I'm okay," she said.

He laughed, "You always say that." He wiped his eyes.

"Well, it's always true, isn't it?"

He shook his head smiling.

"So, what happened?"

James filled her in on the events of the past few days. "And the doctor who did that to you was fired with his license revoked. He should have looked up your history before attempting any kind of treatment."

"That's a little harsh, don't you think?" she frowned, "I mean, I'm sure it was an accident."

James raised his voice, "An accident that almost killed you, Shepard. I wanted to choke him with my bare hands."

She reached up to him with her other hand, "James, it's going to be fine, I feel better. In fact, I could really use something to eat."

"See, I told you." The specialist walked up to the table and scanned her.

"I'll get you something from the cafeteria." James let go of her hand and walked out of the room.

The next day, just as the specialist had predicted, Shepard was on her way back to the prison with James at her side. Anderson met her back at their quarters to check on her. Satisfied she was improved, he left with a renewed conviction to get her released.

James made her sit on the couch while he got her pillow, her robe for her. Shepard laughed at his fussing over her.

"I thought you'd said you'd love to sit on the couch and let me wait on you." James said, folding his arms across his massive chest looking down at her.

"Yea, I guess I did say that. I didn't think it would go down like this, though."

"The doctors said take it easy. I'm here to make sure you do that."

"You know, the bright side is that now my ankle is completely healed." She held it up and moved it up and down to show him.

"I would have preferred to have just the ankle injury." He turned and went to the kitchen, pulling food out and starting to cook dinner.

Shepard brought up her omni-tool and checked her messages, getting caught up on letting Tali, Garrus, Liara know she was okay. She'd had a flurry of messages from them after she didn't contact them for a few days. Liara, being the Shadow Broker, knew what was going on already, and had been contacting her to make sure she was recuperating properly.

_I'm fine, really Liara. James is taking excellent care of me. _Shepard wrote.

She looked at James over the top of her omni-tool display. The way he took care of her, the concern in his eyes, his unwavering presence during her recuperation, there was no one in her life besides her crew who treated her like that. He looked over at her and returned the smile she didn't realize she was wearing. She felt her heart flip a bit, and looked down quickly. _What was that?_

Damn, the fact he was her guard was never out of her thoughts. She pushed all thoughts there might be something more out of her mind. That was inconceivable, right? She glanced up at him again. He was busily stirring something on the stove. Shit, she didn't want to have feelings for him, but she couldn't help it. She had a sudden realization, if Anderson had come to visit her, then the Alliance brass knew what had happened to her, which meant Kaidan knew too. No message, no visit. She frowned and shook her head. _ Just as I thought, he's so selfish, such a jerk._

"Here, Lola." James snapped her out of her thoughts as he handed her a plate of food.

She beamed, "Thanks James, it smells delicious." She grabbed the fork and dug in. James joined her on the other couch facing her, eating his own plate.

They ate in silence for a while. Shepard felt suddenly shy, not knowing what to say. James noticed and said, "Are you feeling alright?"

She saw the concern in his eyes, and for the first time something more. She felt tears start to well up unexpectedly, and looked down in silence. James put his plate down and sat down on the floor in front of her on the couch. He pulled her hair away from her face and saw tears fall down her face. He had never seen her cry in all the time he'd known her.

"Dios mio, what is it? Do you need me to call the doctor?" he jumped up.

"No, no, that's not it." She reached out for his arm and pulled him back towards her.

He knelt back in front of her and wiped the tears from her face, "Then what is it?" he looked at her searchingly. He couldn't stand to see her in any more pain. The past few days had nearly been his undoing.

She closed her eyes as she felt his fingers wipe the wetness from her cheeks. She smiled, "I just, I just realized something."

"What's that?" James asked, starting to feel relieved.

She opened her eyes and looked at him, "I'm completely in love with you."

James stared at her, then blinked a few times, unbelieving what he had heard. "What?"

"I, uh, I just realized that I, I" she swallowed hard, maybe this was a mistake, "I love you." She bit her lip and looked down.

James cupped her face in his hands and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Carino, I love you with all my being." He hugged her tightly and in her ear said, "I don't ever want to be without you."

She hugged him back and said, "Hold me and never let me go."

"I promise." He whispered.

Six months later he kept his promise when he pulled her out of the wreckage of the Citadel and brought her broken body back to the hospital and back to life. After she recovered, they made their bond official, and with early retirement, Shepard and James shared their lives together, never letting go.


End file.
